Not thy will but Your's God

We try so hard to follow what we believe is the will of God only to find out we missed it somehow. Sometimes "we" want something so bad, it's easy for our hearts to get in the way and cause you to begin to believe what you want is what God wants for us too. How do you decipher when it's God and when it's your flesh? Especially when you pray for certain things to happen and they do, only to be disappointed in the end. In times like that you begin to question where you went wrong during the process. Did I not hear the voice of God after all? Mighty men of God in the Old Testament heard the audible voice of God. There was no missing it. If things went wrong it was because of their disobedience to God's instruction. So if things go wrong in our lives does that mean we were disobedient?

The road we recently traveled on led us to believe our dreams of doing what we love the most were going to come true, but only led us to disappointment. The outcome was not what we believed was going to happen. So the question is were we disobedient somewhere along the way? Did we want it so bad that our flesh overruled the Spirit? Possibly, but I do know this one thing. God is faithful. He will heal our broken hearts and restore us. Maybe our dreams are just "our" dreams and not the Lord's will for our lives. If that is so, I will again face disappoint and that is not something I think my heart can handle.

Patience

Patience, is that word in our vocabulary? I am totally convinced that we are a fast food society, at least I have figured out in the last few months that I fit that description more than I realized. The red light turns green and we honk the horn at the car in front of us because they are taking too long to take off. We stand in line at the store and get impatient because the clerk has to call for a price check because the customer is arguing that the price tag on the shelf was lower. Or what about the fact that we leave the house late then get caught in traffic, which makes us arrive at our destination later than expected. Lastly and certainly not the least, we pull through the drive thru and get upset because we are asked to pull forward while they prepare our food. So what if it's fresh, we just want it fast.

Patience is a virtue. Lamentations 3:25 says, "the Lord is good to those who wait", so why do we have such a hard time with this. I am trying to figure it out myself. I know in my mind the Lord's timing is everything yet I honk, get agitated, and drive off in frustration because it is taken longer than I expected. What is the Lord trying to teach me, why the waiting period? There could be a number of things but we won't know until it comes to an end and the Lord says "ok, now you can proceed." The Lord sees the bigger picture and knows what needs to take place before we walk through the open door. The Lord lets us see through the cracks a little at a time but sometimes it's not enough. We want to see the big picture, unfortunately like Joseph, we are too immature to handle the dream. Through this season I am learning patience. I have not arrived by any means and I have a long way to go but with the Lord's help I will make it. If I fail, I will try again.

It's a process and the Lord loves the process.

From Death to Life

On Sunday, September 12, 2010, my Uncle Fred left this earth and went on to be with the Lord. I always viewed my Uncle to be very strong. He was a big man in stature and had a big voice. I never would have imagined seeing him lying in a hospital bed in MICU, helpless. Someone with such a love for life. He loved people, politics and he had personality. The stroke affected his ability to breathe on his own, something we take for granted so often. Breath - in a matter of seconds it can be gone from us. I didn't think much about myself that day. My thoughts were with my uncle and his family. Sunday was my birthday and as I was celebrating another year of my life, he was fighting for his. We did get to say good-bye before they took him off the ventilator for the final time. I know he is in a better place. A place we as Christians long to be - with Jesus. Although it was a time of grief and sorrow, it brings me joy in knowing that one day I will get to fellowship with him again in Heaven. I love you Uncle Fred, you will be missed.

Pride

This was taken from a book titled, "Praying God's Word" by Beth Moore.

"My name is Pride. I am a cheater. I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because you demand your own way. I cheat you of contentment...because you "deserve better than this." I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all. I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of me to forgive. I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to admit when you're wrong. I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window. I cheat you of genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you. I cheat you of love...because real romance demands sacrifice. I cheat you of greatness in heaven...because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth. I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is Pride. I am a cheater. You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue. I'm looking to make a fool of you. God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...If you stick with me You'll never know."

This is a powerful statement. The Bible says, "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Lord help me to always remain humble in Your sight and in the sight of others.

Funk

Do you ever get in a "funk" sometimes?? A day where things just aren't right! I don't like those kind of days. There is too much on my mind and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except give it over to the Lord. What good does it do for me to hang on to it? With my mouth I say I'll give it to the Lord, lay it at His feet and trust Him, but in my heart I am having a hard time letting go. Thoughts are the hardest thing to be free from. They can drive you into a state of "funkeness" (ok I know it's not a real word, but it sounded good). I have to be free from this feeling. I need to believe with my heart what my mouth is saying and totally trust God and let it go. That's called "practicing what I preach" and it's easier said than done sometimes. I am at a total point in my life where I literally don't know the next step I am to take. Scott and I can't even make any decision's until we know God's will for our family. This is one of the hardest places for me to be and I'm not liking it. The only thing I know to do and can do for that matter is to surrender it to the Lord and let it go. He knows the outcome already and has it all laid out for us. We wait on His timing and be patient. It will all be worth it in the end!

LIFE

"Life" - Reflecting back on my life, I sometimes ask the question, "would I change anything?" Of course there would be some things I probably wish I could have changed but wonder then would the outcome of my life and where I am now be different. We all have made choices in our lifetime that brought about consequences, whether good or bad, that we have to live with. Some are of the past yet some are still hanging on - for some, it's because we choose not to let them go and for others the results stare us in the face on a daily basis as a constant reminder. Either way, it's your life story and we all have one. Some choose not to share theirs, others share way too much. I believe how you deal with whatever life has thrown at you reflects who you are today. I also believe that no matter what has happened in the past, cannot dictate your future. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." If you are a believer then God's plans for your life are far greater than you ever could have planned. Your sins can be forgiven and you can have a new life in Christ Jesus. The old will pass away and all things will become new. (2 Cor 5:17)

Don't let your past life dictate to you how you will live the REST of your life. It's not always going to be easy, but those are the things that will make you stronger and build character. Look at it as a test - one that you will pass and remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13. Be blessed and enjoy YOUR LIFE!

Family

Family - no matter what happens, we will always be there for each other. I have a big family and I love it. I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. Currently we all live in Louisiana we and are very close to each other. Even though we all have different faiths, beliefs, ideas, and ways - it doesn't keep us from coming together to enjoy one another's company to have fun. There are 8 grand-children, with the oldest being 18 and the youngest being 5, there is never a dull moment. We have laughed and cried, been angry and even fought with one another but at the end of the day when all is said and done, we love each other with an unconditional love that can never separate us. I am very grateful that all of us are still alive and healthy. My parents are still living and have a sound mind. I have one living grandfather on my mom's side and a step-grandmother. I don't know what I would do without any of my family members.

I just wanted to take this time to thank the Lord for allowing me to be part of such an awesome family. Continue to keep us safe, watch over us and protect us until the day of your returning.