New Year's Resolutions...

A New Year's Resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a personal goal, project, or the reforming of a habit (wikipedia). I don't make resolutions for myself anymore, it seems they always sound good but are completely unattainable. We start off the first week or two with hype, excitement and totally determined that we will reach these goals. Not long after most of us find ourselves back in the same routine, rut or habits we said we would "try to change". I've learned over the years that when you set "rules" for yourself, most of the time they will be broken. Your heart is pure and your motives are right in setting them but there is something about it when you put pressure on yourself to do something only the Holy Spirit can help you attain. I know this from experience. So now instead of setting goals or "rules" for myself, I simply take the thoughts that I have and go before the Lord with them. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me and if I mess up, well, I mess up. I don't feel pressured and I'm not hard on myself, this way I don't put the focus on me trying to accomplish a goal - I can fully rely on the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me. So for 2011, take some time to think about what it is you want to "change" about yourself or your lifestyle. Bring them before the Lord and lay them at His feet. Allow Him to be the one to bring about the changes, He knows what we need the most anyway. Take the pressure off yourself and have a Happy New Year.

True Meaning of Christmas

It seems every year we gradually lose focus of Christmas and it's true meaning of why we celebrate it in the first place, the birth of Jesus Christ. I personally have had a hard time this year because of our current situation. I lost sight of what it is all about. With that being said, I have written a poem which describes exactly what I'm talking about.

"This Christmas there won't be any presents under the tree,

Nor will there be stockings hanging from the chimney.

There won't be any pretty wreaths hanging on the doors,

Christmas won't be the same without you around here anymore.

No deck the halls, no silent night, no jingle bells to ring,

Not even a White Christmas will be in my dreams.

I think we have forgotten the true meaning of it all,

Now it's all about how much money is spent at the mall.

Pictures taken with Santa seem to be what is discussed,

I don't hear anyone asking "where's the line to see Jesus."

Christmas is meant to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ,

Not to be the highest bidder on Ebay at the end of the night.

So forget hanging the stockings on the chimney with care,

We've forgotten the meaning of Christmas and the good

news we are to share."

Getting a Christmas tree, decorating, putting up lights and buying presents are all part of the season. Although it's a lot of fun, I don't want to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and forget why we have Christmas in the first place. I want to focus on being thankful for my family. The fact that I have my husband and children and we are all in good health is something I have taken for granted. I want to be more aware of those around me and their needs, showing the love of Jesus and spreading the Gospel. After all, Jesus is the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas to all who read this and I pray you are blessed with the love of God.

Pain for Purpose

I saw an interview of Matt Hammit of Sanctus Real talking about his newborn son's heart defect and how they weren't sure if he was going to make it or not. At the end of his interview he said something that spoke right to my heart;

"You can either be angry or bitter when bad things come your way, or you can let them shape you and mold you and teach you lessons about life. You can trade your pain in for purpose. Bowen's pain will have a purpose and we believe that will all our hearts."

Even though I haven't been faced with something so tragic, we all deal with pain in our lives one way or another. Pain can be brought on by things that are out of our control. Over the last few months I have been dealing with pain. Not a physical pain but a spiritual pain that brings out lots of emotions. A pain that has caused my heart to hurt deep inside. What I thought was going to be an open door for Scott and I was closed shut. We desired so much to go in this direction and it seemed as if all things were adding up and were confirmed to lead up to this point in our lives where we felt as if God was finally opening a door for us for full time ministry. After several months of waiting and praying, we found out it wasn't time to go.

Our hearts were broken, severed and torn in two. Almost like our dream was shattered into a million pieces right before our eyes. It was tough and still is at times but we know God has a purpose and plan for our lives and obviously this wasn't it.

I have been on a roller coaster ride of every emotion possible. Questioning and wondering why things didn't happen the way we felt so sure in our hearts they were going to go. Questioning God and our ability to hear his voice, to the place now that I feel as though I am numb to everything that comes my way.

This is a pain I can't say I have ever experienced before, nor do I want to experience it again. I know that I have a choice to either allow the pain to control me or I can allow what I have gone through to "teach me and shape me" and figure out what purpose it has for my life. You see, God doesn't allow us to go through things that are too big for us to handle, but He does allow test and trials to come our way to see how well we do during the process. I can't say that I have handled everything the way the Lord intended but I know I want the end of my story to be that I passed the test.

Thankful

Today as I reflect on Thanksgiving coming this week, I can't help but be thankful for my family. After losing two Uncles within two months, I have realized that life is so precious and special and at any moment it could be gone forever. Prior to this, we have not had a loss in our family since my grandmother passed away when I was 17 years old. I have always said how blessed we were to have my brothers, sisters, parents, one grandfather, aunts, uncles, cousins, neices and nephews all still living. For a family as large as ours, it is uncommon for everyone to still be around. God has blessed us. The loss of my two Uncles recently has really brought things into perspective that we will not be here on this earth forever. Until the day comes for the Lord to take each one of us home, we must look past our differences and make the most of time spent with our family members. Let them know you love them - we all have a sense of selfishness but I want to have great memories of my family so I am going to make every effort to put myself aside and focus on my husband, children and all those who surrond me while we still have time. I want to encourage you to do the same. Look beyond circumstances and make the most of it. I want to make "Good Memories" and I pray you will do the same.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you - may God richly bless you spiritually!

A Heavy Heart

Lately I have found myself to be broken over the complacency of those that call themselves believers. I don't say these things with judgement in my heart, I say them with a broken Spirit.

I am not only looking at others but also looking into the mirror at myself, searching my heart as to what I have compromised that is contrary to God's Holy Word. The Lord calls us to be "holy and set apart." I have participated in the world and it's earthly pleasures, which only last a short while, as well as serving God with all my heart - living a life of repentance. The things I once did I choose not to do anymore. I do not want to partake in anything that does not bring glory to my heavenly Father. When I see these things I ask myself why? Then I have to remember I am not responsible for anyone but myself. My convictions are between myself and the Lord. I will be held accountable for my actions and all I can do for others is begin to pray for them. I don't write these things pointing the finger at anyone, I just hope that as you read this the Lord will begin to move on you and show you things in your life that you could "turn away from" as He did for me. Continue to teach me your ways Lord, lead me down the paths of righteousness.

Halloween

Halloween - This is a subject that I have had a very difficult time with Christians compromising their beliefs only to allow their children to participate in because of their innocence and don't dress in scary costumes. It's a very sensitive topic that some Christians don't address because of their own convictions. Some people justify it by either changing the name to "fall festivals" or "trunk or treat", either way I feel as though the church is still acknowledging the holiday and carries on the same traditions as the world. What part does darkness have with the light?

As a child we participated in Halloween every year. My family would pass out candy and we would dress up in costumes of our choice. Go door to door to get candy then come home, dump it all out on the floor to see what we all got. Exciting time of year for us as children, oh, except the part where people dressed up in scary costumes and played tricks on us to try and frighten us.

After I had a born again experience with Jesus Christ in February 1996, my views and convictions on this holiday quickly changed. I recognized the evil spirit behind all of the excitement. If we would take the time to look into the holiday and read behind it's origin I believe our ideas of celebrating in this tradition would soon change. I know that this is my conviction and I have refrained from even speaking aloud concerning this subject because it was "my" conviction and I didn't want to offend anyone, but I now feel as though that is the problem with most of the church today. We are afraid of offending so we don't tell the truth. What if someone wouldn't have told me the truth about Jesus Christ and His saving power? We must not conform to the patterns of this world, we must be set apart and not compromise the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Below you will find portions of an article from History.com on the origin of Halloween. After you read it, you will see several things that the Lord warned us in scripture to stay away from. The fact that it is the country's SECOND LARGEST commercial holiday should say enough. Wake up church!!!

"Today, Americans spend an estimated $6.9 billion annually on Halloween, making it the country's second largest commercial holiday. On Halloween, when it was believed that ghosts came back to the earthly world, people thought that they would encounter ghosts if they left their homes. To avoid being recognized by these ghosts, people would wear masks when they left their homes after dark so that the ghosts would mistake them for fellow spirits. On Halloween, to keep ghosts away from their houses, people would place bowls of food outside their homes to appease the ghosts and prevent them from attempting to enter. To commemorate the event, Druids built huge sacred bonfires, where the people gathered to burn crops and animals as sacrifices to the Celtic deities.

During the celebration, the Celts wore costumes, typically consisting of animal heads and skins, and attempted to tell each other's fortunes. the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future."

Not thy will but Your's God

We try so hard to follow what we believe is the will of God only to find out we missed it somehow. Sometimes "we" want something so bad, it's easy for our hearts to get in the way and cause you to begin to believe what you want is what God wants for us too. How do you decipher when it's God and when it's your flesh? Especially when you pray for certain things to happen and they do, only to be disappointed in the end. In times like that you begin to question where you went wrong during the process. Did I not hear the voice of God after all? Mighty men of God in the Old Testament heard the audible voice of God. There was no missing it. If things went wrong it was because of their disobedience to God's instruction. So if things go wrong in our lives does that mean we were disobedient?

The road we recently traveled on led us to believe our dreams of doing what we love the most were going to come true, but only led us to disappointment. The outcome was not what we believed was going to happen. So the question is were we disobedient somewhere along the way? Did we want it so bad that our flesh overruled the Spirit? Possibly, but I do know this one thing. God is faithful. He will heal our broken hearts and restore us. Maybe our dreams are just "our" dreams and not the Lord's will for our lives. If that is so, I will again face disappoint and that is not something I think my heart can handle.