True Meaning of Christmas

It seems every year we gradually lose focus of Christmas and it's true meaning of why we celebrate it in the first place, the birth of Jesus Christ. I personally have had a hard time this year because of our current situation. I lost sight of what it is all about. With that being said, I have written a poem which describes exactly what I'm talking about.

"This Christmas there won't be any presents under the tree,

Nor will there be stockings hanging from the chimney.

There won't be any pretty wreaths hanging on the doors,

Christmas won't be the same without you around here anymore.

No deck the halls, no silent night, no jingle bells to ring,

Not even a White Christmas will be in my dreams.

I think we have forgotten the true meaning of it all,

Now it's all about how much money is spent at the mall.

Pictures taken with Santa seem to be what is discussed,

I don't hear anyone asking "where's the line to see Jesus."

Christmas is meant to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ,

Not to be the highest bidder on Ebay at the end of the night.

So forget hanging the stockings on the chimney with care,

We've forgotten the meaning of Christmas and the good

news we are to share."

Getting a Christmas tree, decorating, putting up lights and buying presents are all part of the season. Although it's a lot of fun, I don't want to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and forget why we have Christmas in the first place. I want to focus on being thankful for my family. The fact that I have my husband and children and we are all in good health is something I have taken for granted. I want to be more aware of those around me and their needs, showing the love of Jesus and spreading the Gospel. After all, Jesus is the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas to all who read this and I pray you are blessed with the love of God.

Pain for Purpose

I saw an interview of Matt Hammit of Sanctus Real talking about his newborn son's heart defect and how they weren't sure if he was going to make it or not. At the end of his interview he said something that spoke right to my heart;

"You can either be angry or bitter when bad things come your way, or you can let them shape you and mold you and teach you lessons about life. You can trade your pain in for purpose. Bowen's pain will have a purpose and we believe that will all our hearts."

Even though I haven't been faced with something so tragic, we all deal with pain in our lives one way or another. Pain can be brought on by things that are out of our control. Over the last few months I have been dealing with pain. Not a physical pain but a spiritual pain that brings out lots of emotions. A pain that has caused my heart to hurt deep inside. What I thought was going to be an open door for Scott and I was closed shut. We desired so much to go in this direction and it seemed as if all things were adding up and were confirmed to lead up to this point in our lives where we felt as if God was finally opening a door for us for full time ministry. After several months of waiting and praying, we found out it wasn't time to go.

Our hearts were broken, severed and torn in two. Almost like our dream was shattered into a million pieces right before our eyes. It was tough and still is at times but we know God has a purpose and plan for our lives and obviously this wasn't it.

I have been on a roller coaster ride of every emotion possible. Questioning and wondering why things didn't happen the way we felt so sure in our hearts they were going to go. Questioning God and our ability to hear his voice, to the place now that I feel as though I am numb to everything that comes my way.

This is a pain I can't say I have ever experienced before, nor do I want to experience it again. I know that I have a choice to either allow the pain to control me or I can allow what I have gone through to "teach me and shape me" and figure out what purpose it has for my life. You see, God doesn't allow us to go through things that are too big for us to handle, but He does allow test and trials to come our way to see how well we do during the process. I can't say that I have handled everything the way the Lord intended but I know I want the end of my story to be that I passed the test.

Thankful

Today as I reflect on Thanksgiving coming this week, I can't help but be thankful for my family. After losing two Uncles within two months, I have realized that life is so precious and special and at any moment it could be gone forever. Prior to this, we have not had a loss in our family since my grandmother passed away when I was 17 years old. I have always said how blessed we were to have my brothers, sisters, parents, one grandfather, aunts, uncles, cousins, neices and nephews all still living. For a family as large as ours, it is uncommon for everyone to still be around. God has blessed us. The loss of my two Uncles recently has really brought things into perspective that we will not be here on this earth forever. Until the day comes for the Lord to take each one of us home, we must look past our differences and make the most of time spent with our family members. Let them know you love them - we all have a sense of selfishness but I want to have great memories of my family so I am going to make every effort to put myself aside and focus on my husband, children and all those who surrond me while we still have time. I want to encourage you to do the same. Look beyond circumstances and make the most of it. I want to make "Good Memories" and I pray you will do the same.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you - may God richly bless you spiritually!

A Heavy Heart

Lately I have found myself to be broken over the complacency of those that call themselves believers. I don't say these things with judgement in my heart, I say them with a broken Spirit.

I am not only looking at others but also looking into the mirror at myself, searching my heart as to what I have compromised that is contrary to God's Holy Word. The Lord calls us to be "holy and set apart." I have participated in the world and it's earthly pleasures, which only last a short while, as well as serving God with all my heart - living a life of repentance. The things I once did I choose not to do anymore. I do not want to partake in anything that does not bring glory to my heavenly Father. When I see these things I ask myself why? Then I have to remember I am not responsible for anyone but myself. My convictions are between myself and the Lord. I will be held accountable for my actions and all I can do for others is begin to pray for them. I don't write these things pointing the finger at anyone, I just hope that as you read this the Lord will begin to move on you and show you things in your life that you could "turn away from" as He did for me. Continue to teach me your ways Lord, lead me down the paths of righteousness.

Halloween

Halloween - This is a subject that I have had a very difficult time with Christians compromising their beliefs only to allow their children to participate in because of their innocence and don't dress in scary costumes. It's a very sensitive topic that some Christians don't address because of their own convictions. Some people justify it by either changing the name to "fall festivals" or "trunk or treat", either way I feel as though the church is still acknowledging the holiday and carries on the same traditions as the world. What part does darkness have with the light?

As a child we participated in Halloween every year. My family would pass out candy and we would dress up in costumes of our choice. Go door to door to get candy then come home, dump it all out on the floor to see what we all got. Exciting time of year for us as children, oh, except the part where people dressed up in scary costumes and played tricks on us to try and frighten us.

After I had a born again experience with Jesus Christ in February 1996, my views and convictions on this holiday quickly changed. I recognized the evil spirit behind all of the excitement. If we would take the time to look into the holiday and read behind it's origin I believe our ideas of celebrating in this tradition would soon change. I know that this is my conviction and I have refrained from even speaking aloud concerning this subject because it was "my" conviction and I didn't want to offend anyone, but I now feel as though that is the problem with most of the church today. We are afraid of offending so we don't tell the truth. What if someone wouldn't have told me the truth about Jesus Christ and His saving power? We must not conform to the patterns of this world, we must be set apart and not compromise the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Below you will find portions of an article from History.com on the origin of Halloween. After you read it, you will see several things that the Lord warned us in scripture to stay away from. The fact that it is the country's SECOND LARGEST commercial holiday should say enough. Wake up church!!!

"Today, Americans spend an estimated $6.9 billion annually on Halloween, making it the country's second largest commercial holiday. On Halloween, when it was believed that ghosts came back to the earthly world, people thought that they would encounter ghosts if they left their homes. To avoid being recognized by these ghosts, people would wear masks when they left their homes after dark so that the ghosts would mistake them for fellow spirits. On Halloween, to keep ghosts away from their houses, people would place bowls of food outside their homes to appease the ghosts and prevent them from attempting to enter. To commemorate the event, Druids built huge sacred bonfires, where the people gathered to burn crops and animals as sacrifices to the Celtic deities.

During the celebration, the Celts wore costumes, typically consisting of animal heads and skins, and attempted to tell each other's fortunes. the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future."

Not thy will but Your's God

We try so hard to follow what we believe is the will of God only to find out we missed it somehow. Sometimes "we" want something so bad, it's easy for our hearts to get in the way and cause you to begin to believe what you want is what God wants for us too. How do you decipher when it's God and when it's your flesh? Especially when you pray for certain things to happen and they do, only to be disappointed in the end. In times like that you begin to question where you went wrong during the process. Did I not hear the voice of God after all? Mighty men of God in the Old Testament heard the audible voice of God. There was no missing it. If things went wrong it was because of their disobedience to God's instruction. So if things go wrong in our lives does that mean we were disobedient?

The road we recently traveled on led us to believe our dreams of doing what we love the most were going to come true, but only led us to disappointment. The outcome was not what we believed was going to happen. So the question is were we disobedient somewhere along the way? Did we want it so bad that our flesh overruled the Spirit? Possibly, but I do know this one thing. God is faithful. He will heal our broken hearts and restore us. Maybe our dreams are just "our" dreams and not the Lord's will for our lives. If that is so, I will again face disappoint and that is not something I think my heart can handle.

Patience

Patience, is that word in our vocabulary? I am totally convinced that we are a fast food society, at least I have figured out in the last few months that I fit that description more than I realized. The red light turns green and we honk the horn at the car in front of us because they are taking too long to take off. We stand in line at the store and get impatient because the clerk has to call for a price check because the customer is arguing that the price tag on the shelf was lower. Or what about the fact that we leave the house late then get caught in traffic, which makes us arrive at our destination later than expected. Lastly and certainly not the least, we pull through the drive thru and get upset because we are asked to pull forward while they prepare our food. So what if it's fresh, we just want it fast.

Patience is a virtue. Lamentations 3:25 says, "the Lord is good to those who wait", so why do we have such a hard time with this. I am trying to figure it out myself. I know in my mind the Lord's timing is everything yet I honk, get agitated, and drive off in frustration because it is taken longer than I expected. What is the Lord trying to teach me, why the waiting period? There could be a number of things but we won't know until it comes to an end and the Lord says "ok, now you can proceed." The Lord sees the bigger picture and knows what needs to take place before we walk through the open door. The Lord lets us see through the cracks a little at a time but sometimes it's not enough. We want to see the big picture, unfortunately like Joseph, we are too immature to handle the dream. Through this season I am learning patience. I have not arrived by any means and I have a long way to go but with the Lord's help I will make it. If I fail, I will try again.

It's a process and the Lord loves the process.

From Death to Life

On Sunday, September 12, 2010, my Uncle Fred left this earth and went on to be with the Lord. I always viewed my Uncle to be very strong. He was a big man in stature and had a big voice. I never would have imagined seeing him lying in a hospital bed in MICU, helpless. Someone with such a love for life. He loved people, politics and he had personality. The stroke affected his ability to breathe on his own, something we take for granted so often. Breath - in a matter of seconds it can be gone from us. I didn't think much about myself that day. My thoughts were with my uncle and his family. Sunday was my birthday and as I was celebrating another year of my life, he was fighting for his. We did get to say good-bye before they took him off the ventilator for the final time. I know he is in a better place. A place we as Christians long to be - with Jesus. Although it was a time of grief and sorrow, it brings me joy in knowing that one day I will get to fellowship with him again in Heaven. I love you Uncle Fred, you will be missed.

Pride

This was taken from a book titled, "Praying God's Word" by Beth Moore.

"My name is Pride. I am a cheater. I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because you demand your own way. I cheat you of contentment...because you "deserve better than this." I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all. I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of me to forgive. I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to admit when you're wrong. I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window. I cheat you of genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you. I cheat you of love...because real romance demands sacrifice. I cheat you of greatness in heaven...because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth. I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is Pride. I am a cheater. You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue. I'm looking to make a fool of you. God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...If you stick with me You'll never know."

This is a powerful statement. The Bible says, "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Lord help me to always remain humble in Your sight and in the sight of others.

Funk

Do you ever get in a "funk" sometimes?? A day where things just aren't right! I don't like those kind of days. There is too much on my mind and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except give it over to the Lord. What good does it do for me to hang on to it? With my mouth I say I'll give it to the Lord, lay it at His feet and trust Him, but in my heart I am having a hard time letting go. Thoughts are the hardest thing to be free from. They can drive you into a state of "funkeness" (ok I know it's not a real word, but it sounded good). I have to be free from this feeling. I need to believe with my heart what my mouth is saying and totally trust God and let it go. That's called "practicing what I preach" and it's easier said than done sometimes. I am at a total point in my life where I literally don't know the next step I am to take. Scott and I can't even make any decision's until we know God's will for our family. This is one of the hardest places for me to be and I'm not liking it. The only thing I know to do and can do for that matter is to surrender it to the Lord and let it go. He knows the outcome already and has it all laid out for us. We wait on His timing and be patient. It will all be worth it in the end!

LIFE

"Life" - Reflecting back on my life, I sometimes ask the question, "would I change anything?" Of course there would be some things I probably wish I could have changed but wonder then would the outcome of my life and where I am now be different. We all have made choices in our lifetime that brought about consequences, whether good or bad, that we have to live with. Some are of the past yet some are still hanging on - for some, it's because we choose not to let them go and for others the results stare us in the face on a daily basis as a constant reminder. Either way, it's your life story and we all have one. Some choose not to share theirs, others share way too much. I believe how you deal with whatever life has thrown at you reflects who you are today. I also believe that no matter what has happened in the past, cannot dictate your future. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." If you are a believer then God's plans for your life are far greater than you ever could have planned. Your sins can be forgiven and you can have a new life in Christ Jesus. The old will pass away and all things will become new. (2 Cor 5:17)

Don't let your past life dictate to you how you will live the REST of your life. It's not always going to be easy, but those are the things that will make you stronger and build character. Look at it as a test - one that you will pass and remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13. Be blessed and enjoy YOUR LIFE!

Family

Family - no matter what happens, we will always be there for each other. I have a big family and I love it. I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. Currently we all live in Louisiana we and are very close to each other. Even though we all have different faiths, beliefs, ideas, and ways - it doesn't keep us from coming together to enjoy one another's company to have fun. There are 8 grand-children, with the oldest being 18 and the youngest being 5, there is never a dull moment. We have laughed and cried, been angry and even fought with one another but at the end of the day when all is said and done, we love each other with an unconditional love that can never separate us. I am very grateful that all of us are still alive and healthy. My parents are still living and have a sound mind. I have one living grandfather on my mom's side and a step-grandmother. I don't know what I would do without any of my family members.

I just wanted to take this time to thank the Lord for allowing me to be part of such an awesome family. Continue to keep us safe, watch over us and protect us until the day of your returning.

Thankful

This morning as I sit in the quiet I had certain thoughts go through my mind which reminded me of things in my past. My life could be totally different than it is now. If I wouldn't have surrendered my life to Jesus in February 1996, I'm not sure where I would be today. I may have gotten saved years later, only God knows, but the road I was headed down could have produced long term results that would have brought forth a different outcome. I may have never turned to Jesus but I am thankful and oh so grateful for the moment He made Himself real to me. There are things in my past I am not very proud of but because of Jesus I am free from it all. I pray that my heart will remain teachable and that my flesh would not get in the way. I want to be able to receive instruction from the Lord so that my relationship with Him will continue to grow. My Spirit is willing but my flesh is weak - Lord I ask that you will not allow me to go astray. I want to finish the race you have set before me. Let my life and everything I do bring glory to your most Holy name. Let me not be ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ and help my eyes to only be fixed on You. I know my relationship with Christ is real. I know the change He has brought about in my life and those that knew me then and now can testify to that. It doesn't mean that I am perfect, just forgiven. Everyone makes mistakes and none of us are without sin but knowing that I can go to the Father, through what Christ did at the cross for me and ask forgiveness then to be forgiven is the most powerful gift anyone could ever give me. I do not take serving the Lord lightly - He is a Holy God and I pray my life will always reflect Christ and His attributes. Amen!

Waiting on God

It's early, can't sleep - way too much on my mind this morning. I know that our family is about to face another transition in our lives. The problem is we aren't sure which direction it will lead. We are actually waiting to hear from a church in regards to a Youth Pastor position Scott applied for. They want to make a decision by August 1st no later than September 1st and have already called a few references so now we are just waiting for the next process. He was one of six people chosen for this job out of 80 applicants. If it ends here I have to say I am very proud of him for trying. I know that Scott is called of God to teach the word - he has the ability to understand and study the word then teach it like no other person I have known. I have learned so much from him. This will be a big step for us - we took the first step of faith by submitting the resume so now the rest is left up to God. We choose to trust in Him to lead us wherever it is He may take us. If this doesn't work out, we are faced with an entire different scenario. Regardless, we have to believe that God is in control of our circumstances and though we may not see the bigger picture, we must believe that it will all come together in the end. It's just another step in our lives where God can and will prove Himself to be faithful even if it doesn't end up the way we assumed it would.

A New Season

Greetings -

This is all new to me. I have never blogged before but I felt like it was something new I would like to begin. There are many times I wished I would have written things down but never did. I feel as I enter into this new season of my life, I want to keep track of the journey along the way. I am a very open, transparent and what you see is what you get kind of person. I pray that as you walk along this road with me you will be able to share in the joys, pains, trials and victories in this temporary world we live in. May God use this for His Glory!